Well, hello here.
My real name is 'The Beautiful One', but round here they call me Figaro or The Little Bar Steward. I can't understand it, I've never even been to a bar in my life, let alone worked in one.
However, let me introduce myself. I'm a nice little chap really but I've had a troubled life and people just don't understand me. Come to think of it, other cats don't understand me either.
It all started when I was just a few months old. There I was living happily with my Mum and her sisters, and a few other lads when one day I was kidnapped!!!! I ask you. One minute I was chasing the big boy's tail and the next I was bundled into a plastic box and thrown into this big blue thing. The worst bit was when it started making a noise and then it moved!! I can tell you, I let them know I didn't want to be there. I screamed and screamed. Well, actually I said a few things that I'd learned from the bigger boys at home but I don't want you to think I'm always foul-mouthed. Well, I was screaming for help, like I said and finally the blue thing stopped moving and I was taken into this other home.
Now, I was used to being in charge in the old place. My Mum and her sisters did whatever I wanted them to and the other chaps were really friendly and I could wrap them round my little claw, but in this new place my new Aunties didn't think I should be in charge at all. One of them went and hid for three days (and she should know better since she's four times my size) and the other one just spat at me every time I went to introduce myself to her.
I should say that the Owners are quite nice people though. They gave me a nice blanket all for myself (not that it was needed since I found a really neat place to sleep in Mrs Owner's hair), and they gave me cuddles every now and then - soppy stuff really, but they seemed to like doing it. But they also gave me these biscuits to eat which, I can tell you took some getting used to. At my Mum's place I'd had this other stuff called 'Chi-Ken' or 'Feeessh', something like that.
Anyway, I've got to go out and sort out a shrew or two. I'll give you more of my story tomorrow - How I handle the women in the house.
TTFN
The Little Bar Steward
My real name is 'The Beautiful One', but round here they call me Figaro or The Little Bar Steward. I can't understand it, I've never even been to a bar in my life, let alone worked in one.
However, let me introduce myself. I'm a nice little chap really but I've had a troubled life and people just don't understand me. Come to think of it, other cats don't understand me either.
It all started when I was just a few months old. There I was living happily with my Mum and her sisters, and a few other lads when one day I was kidnapped!!!! I ask you. One minute I was chasing the big boy's tail and the next I was bundled into a plastic box and thrown into this big blue thing. The worst bit was when it started making a noise and then it moved!! I can tell you, I let them know I didn't want to be there. I screamed and screamed. Well, actually I said a few things that I'd learned from the bigger boys at home but I don't want you to think I'm always foul-mouthed. Well, I was screaming for help, like I said and finally the blue thing stopped moving and I was taken into this other home.
Now, I was used to being in charge in the old place. My Mum and her sisters did whatever I wanted them to and the other chaps were really friendly and I could wrap them round my little claw, but in this new place my new Aunties didn't think I should be in charge at all. One of them went and hid for three days (and she should know better since she's four times my size) and the other one just spat at me every time I went to introduce myself to her.
I should say that the Owners are quite nice people though. They gave me a nice blanket all for myself (not that it was needed since I found a really neat place to sleep in Mrs Owner's hair), and they gave me cuddles every now and then - soppy stuff really, but they seemed to like doing it. But they also gave me these biscuits to eat which, I can tell you took some getting used to. At my Mum's place I'd had this other stuff called 'Chi-Ken' or 'Feeessh', something like that.
Anyway, I've got to go out and sort out a shrew or two. I'll give you more of my story tomorrow - How I handle the women in the house.
TTFN
The Little Bar Steward
8 comments:
Telford Crew
Bonnie the cat says, Mee oow. Butter wouldn't melt in my mouth either, because it's always full of mouse!!
Love the lists Beautiful One! Can't wait for the next story.
You really should get out more!
I have no time to blog. I'm far too busy fishing for the frog in my pond or attacking my owners when they least expect it. What you do is wait til they sit down then leap on the back of the chair and hit them on the head!
Looking forward to our next football game Figs!
Dear Bonnie,
Well done. Keep up the good work
The Little Bar Steward
Dear MJ and R,
Thanks a lot. Look out for more soon.
The Little Bar Steward
Dear Tubbs,
What is a frog? I'm a bit confused because I live in France now.....
The Little Bar Steward
Dear Jack,
Are you that little boy who came to stay this year? I think I still give your football a bit of a kick every now and then when I see it in the garden.
Be good
The Little Bar Steward
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