Today I will be mostly sleeping

I'm knackered. Cream crackered. Whacked out. Bushed. Pooped. Done in. Dog tired.

I must say the new chap is quite nice. Mr Owner brought him here in the blue car. He made all the right noises when he arrived. Tickled my ears just where I like it, and said I was lovely (even though he says he doesn't really like cats), and didn't complain when I had been sitting on his bed all day.

Then after they'd all had something to eat we all went for a walk. I have to go with them you see, in case they get lost. All the time we are out I try to engage them in conversation. You know the sort of thing. 'Did you hear that rustling in the bushes there?' 'There's an interesting smell just under this tree'. But they didn't seem to be interested in what I had to say. They looked a bit concerned when I started panting though. Well, it's all very well for them, they don't have to wear a fur coat when they are walking up that steep hill and my legs are a lot shorter than theirs too.

Anyway, we walked for what seemed like ages and in the end I had to ask for a lift. Mrs O complained. Well, she should have realised my paws would be that muddy, shouldn't she?

When we got back I had to lie down for ages, but two of them went for another walk. They were collecting blue berries from the trees talking about slow something. Gin, I think. I had to go with them to protect them from any strange creatures that might come leaping out of the undergrowth (those grasshoppers are pesky creatures, you know). So I had two long walks yesterday.

Today I will be mostly sleeping.

The Little Bar Steward