Big red thing

The last visitors were nice.

They came on a big red thing with two wheels and they looked very scary at first, but when they took off the big hat things they had on their heads, and all the squeaky clothes they looked quite normal. I had been keeping my distance because I thought the Owners had been invaded by aliens but when I saw that they were just people dressed up, I went to make friends with them.

Mr Visitor let me sit on the big red thing which is called a Honda and then he took my photo. I felt like a glamour model and posed the best I could hoping that he would give me a sweetie, but he didn't. Never mind, next time he comes he'll probably remember to bring some nice treat with him. Just like Grandma does when she comes. I miss Grandma. Now Tubbs isn't staying with her any more I hope she'll come and see me again soon.

The Little Bar Steward

I told you not to leave me out in the rain

The Little Bar Steward

Sand pit

Wow, they've got us cats a new loo! It's a huge square full of sand and gravel and it's going to take us ages to fill it up. I've already left my message and The Big Softie is eyeing it up too so I don't think I'll be able to keep it to myself.

Mrs Owner is going over there now with a big box of stuff. Hang on, I'll just see what she's up to...


...

Phwarh!!!!! It really pongs. She said something like 'That'll keep you little buggers off it'.

I don't understand. Why would They have made us a new loo and then not want us to use it? I'm off down the field again now. There's a nice spot down there in the long grass that'll have to do instead. It's a bit wet but I get more privacy there anyway.

The Little Bar Steward

Today I will be mostly sleeping

I'm knackered. Cream crackered. Whacked out. Bushed. Pooped. Done in. Dog tired.

I must say the new chap is quite nice. Mr Owner brought him here in the blue car. He made all the right noises when he arrived. Tickled my ears just where I like it, and said I was lovely (even though he says he doesn't really like cats), and didn't complain when I had been sitting on his bed all day.

Then after they'd all had something to eat we all went for a walk. I have to go with them you see, in case they get lost. All the time we are out I try to engage them in conversation. You know the sort of thing. 'Did you hear that rustling in the bushes there?' 'There's an interesting smell just under this tree'. But they didn't seem to be interested in what I had to say. They looked a bit concerned when I started panting though. Well, it's all very well for them, they don't have to wear a fur coat when they are walking up that steep hill and my legs are a lot shorter than theirs too.

Anyway, we walked for what seemed like ages and in the end I had to ask for a lift. Mrs O complained. Well, she should have realised my paws would be that muddy, shouldn't she?

When we got back I had to lie down for ages, but two of them went for another walk. They were collecting blue berries from the trees talking about slow something. Gin, I think. I had to go with them to protect them from any strange creatures that might come leaping out of the undergrowth (those grasshoppers are pesky creatures, you know). So I had two long walks yesterday.

Today I will be mostly sleeping.

The Little Bar Steward

Tubbs is going home

Tubbs' Mum is back home today so she will have to give up her life of luxury with the Old One, the fun and games, the extra biscuits and curling up under the Old One's duvet. Tubbs' Mum is too clever for words and knows just when Tubbs is trying to get round her. I expect she will spoil her for a few days though because she's bound to have missed having the little girl around winding in and out of her feet when she's doing that housework thing.

I hope Grandma will come and visit me soon. Mrs Owner says we've got lots of visitors coming in the next few weeks. I hope they are all cat lovers. The first one is arriving today so I'm going to go and warm his bed up for him. It's OK, I've been out and got really muddy paws and covered in grass so I'm sure that will make him feel really welcome when he arrives.

I'll have to be at the head of the welcoming committee too, The Serene One and The Big Softie just never get that sort of thing right. You'd think that since they are so much older than me, they would know exactly how to behave, you know the sort of thing, rub round their ankles until they make a fuss of you. Then you have to check out all the bags they bring with them to see if there are any Thomas Treats in there, and if they don't pick you up and make a fuss of you, you have to catch your claw in their trouser legs or trip them over. They all learn in the end.

The Little Bar Steward

Friends and foes

I was quite worried about Mrs Owner yesterday. She was wandering about the place with a face like a wet weekend. Her and Mr Owner kept taking us for walks, down the lane, up the lane, round the field, through the woods. And all the time they were rattling a box of biscuits, whistling and calling. Then I twigged. They were looking for The Serene One.

Come to think of it, I hadn't seen her since Sunday either, but I'm not one to mope if she's not around. The bully.

Just to make them feel better, me and The Big Softie hung around all day. Normally I would have had to go off and make sure all those little playmates of mine were behaving themselves (it's funny, but there aren't as many of them about as there were), but anyway, I thought I'd stay home to try and make Them feel better.

She still wasn't home last night and Mrs Owner was really upset. After all, two and a half days is a long time even for The Serene One to be gone out for a walk. When Mrs O came and let me out this morning after I'd been rattling the door for some time, The Serene One came rushing in and ate ALL the food, as if she hadn't had any biscuits for days. Well, maybe she hadn't but it still isn't any excuse to growl at me when I wanted to have some biscuits too.

......

I'm looking forward to my new friends coming over to play later on. There's this little boy who I used to play with. He's called Jack and he belongs to the family but I don't see him much since we came to live in the countryside. This new chappie is a bit smaller than Jack but he's quite friendly I think. Only trouble is, I don't understand a word he is saying. Mrs O says he talks French. Luckily the little chap seems to understand kitten talk and when I roll over on my back he tickles my tummy just like I want him to.

The Little Bar Steward

My deer neighbours

We've got new neighbours. They don't live in a house, though. They live in the woods. The don't get fed by Mr and Mrs Owner which is sad really because they do find us quite nice biscuits and the Whiskas kitten food at bedtime of course (which Mrs Owner calls wet doos).

The new neighbours seem to just eat grass. I can't understand how they survive on that. I only eat it if I've got a fur ball and need to throw up. Mrs Owner calls it my bulimic moment, whatever that means.

They aren't very friendly either. I went to look for young Bambi yesterday afternoon to see if he wanted to come out and play 'mouse hunt', my favourite game, but he wouldn't come out of the woods no matter how much I called to him. Then those noisy jays started shouting at me again, I think they thought I was after their babies to come and play too, but they never let them join in my other favourite game of 'feather bed'.

The Little Bar Steward

My new toy

A new toy arrived in the garden yesterday. Apparently it is another 'car'. It isn't anything like the horrid blue thing that they take me out in sometimes - that's when I either get a needle stuck in me or I come home feeling groggy with a sense of something missing.

This car is real fun. I can get in and out of it as well as underneath because there aren't any windows. I was hoping they might put a nice cosy blanket in there for me but they haven't yet. I'll have to get them more organised.

It would be really cool to sleep in there because I can see all around me and I would have warning if The Serene One was approaching with a playmate, or just to have a go at me.

I only wanted to play

Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. If I liked them I'd go and eat worms.

Mrs Owner keeps spraying wet stuff at me. The Serene One growls every time she sees me and even the Big Softie kept telling me to shut up and go back to sleep this morning.

Lucky that I had a big, big cuddle with Mr Owner last night before bed. He called me soppy and daft.

I don't know what that means, I was just trying to give him a cuddle back.

The Little Bar Steward

Do not disturb

They thought I slept outside last night because it was a warm night.

Actually, I was at a rave. Today, I will be mostly sleeping.....